From the begining to now... my life with Gary.

Life With Gary by Paul Cilia

For the past 5 min's I've been wrestling with how I will write this blog. Do I start by talking about myself? Do I start by explaining details of Gary? Maybe I should simply just write about how it all started on one crazy Thursday when I received my plant Gary. Actually, I'm going to start from the true beginning which was the previous Saturday... Yes, that's where I'll start.

Okay so on Saturday the 15th, of August 2009 Ed Peterson, my friend and pastor had requested that I take on a plant to carry around for 40 days of which I would be allowed to water it, give it sunlight and occasionally food based on responses to his blog Information - Meditation - Application. At first and even till today I've been hesitant to do anything of this nature because well... its uncomfortable. I mean seriously who wants to carry around a dumb plant that will somehow parallel some spiritual understanding of which will make me look even more rediculous that my Jesus loving ways already painted on me. Long story short I told Ed on that Saturday He's crazy and I'm not interested. So Thursday evening comes along and I pick up my plant at the Onething Prayer Center. I read a little about it on its tag and its called a Neanthebella Palm, it likes moist soil, requires little light and thrives indoors. I'm like well at least the plant is hardy and can't be killed easily. I put it in my trunk and go home.

The next morning I head into work and realize that I've left this idiotic plant in my trunk and if I leave it in there all day in the Florida sun I might as well kiss it goodbye and it won't even be 24 hrs and I'd have a sauteed plant with a hint of car fumes. Personally at this point I could care less but since I'm not one for failing on day one or failing in general I ended up having to walk from my time clock back through the parking lot to my car, and go back again. In my journey back I'm starting to get the looks, but at this point its just a plant I'm bringing into work for my desk no big deal.... until the maintenance guy decided to take the first crack.. NICE PLANT PAUL..... I whipped up a fast one and said " Ya its name is Gary" which just coincidentally happens to be his name as well.

At this point I just realized I fell into a trap, I've now named the plant. Everyone else at the prayer center has named their plant of which I'm like "this is ridiculous its a flipping plant" and voila... its no longer just a plant its Gary.

Enter the Cat Day 1 Friday 08/21/09

So day one with the plant at work is over, not to bad can't complain gotta few questions but nothing out of the ordinary. I bring Gary inside and before I can even get the plant on the table.. Gary is under attack. My clinically insane cat Aldo somehow within 120 seconds has identified this as food and is just mauling it. Normally I shoo him away from things etc but oh no... IT WAS ON! I've never seen this cat so intensely focused on obtaining one thing and one thing only... Gary. It was as if one taste was all he needed to be fixated on some carnal desire to strip this plant like a sports car parked in Detroit. It was so bad that both my wife Nickel (who also is carrying a plant named Beatrice) had no choice but to lock the two plants up in the guest bathroom. At this point you'd think game over right? Cat should figure out he ain't getting it etc.... but oh no it was like as if Pizza was in that room and you were some chunky kid being tortured by its aroma! My cat spends the next 3-4 hrs whining, pawing, and climbing things to get the door open. Its amazing how as ingenious he was in his attempts at getting the doors open it never dawned on him that it simply was out of his reach. He finally quits when its time for us to go to bed and gives way to the more reachable ideal of snuggling at our feet for the evening.

Day 2-3

left in guest bathroom for the weekend

Didn't even bat an eye as pure and simple this is a dumb plant and technically I left it with my wife while I was out so bare min I had a baby sitter and vice versa.

Day 5- Mon 08/24/09

The Bathroom is Gary's new home.

I wake up late, grab a Fuze drink and out the door. Gary spends the entire day locked in the bathroom with no lights.

I arrive to work only to have people asking me about my plant, my wife comes by who also works with me and gives me the shame shame finger deal about forgetting my plant. Its a stupid plant and I've got better things to do than bother with something that I normally wouldn't even hesitate hitting with a John Deere. I pure and simple don't want to do this plant thing. Why in the world did I do this and begin to think Ed maybe pressured me into this and I get a little ticked at him for about an hour. I go to the prayer center after work and answer some basic questions about the plant, earned the right to water it. I go home, and don't even water the plant.... in the bathroom it stays and frankly that's where it will likely die as far as I'm concerned because I really don't need this in my life right now. Sorry Gary its nothing personal. On a further note the cat is still trying to eat it but for whatever reason I won't let the cat in the bathroom to total the plant just to be spiteful and quit.

Day 3 Tues 08/25/09

Plant still in bathroom

Wife is on me like white on rice about retarded plant. Cat still wants to eat the forbidden fruit.... and I'm about to just let him go for it. I forgot the plant this morning to take to work and its the least of my concerns.

Day 4 Wed, 08/26/09

Plant almost left the house and no water or light I actually intended on taking this plant to work but i forgot it and again its starting to work on me today. I HATE failing. I hate quitting. That's why I normally don't sign up for stuff I know I don't have time for. I work not only my 40 hr a week job but I also own http://www.groundsunited.com/ which requires allot of building and maintenance before fundraising season. Coffee is on the brain, stupid plant ranks up there with polishing my clunker car and learning to dance. I drop Ed an email, more less stating I'm just about done with this plant, I've forgotten it in a bathroom for about 5 days without light, food, water, etc. This MUST be a sign I'm too busy. Feel free to read Eds blog to see my dumb letter full of lame excuses that are only valid currency in the Land of Paul. I go home work on the website, and ask my wife to use my watering I earned on Monday because frankly its just not cool to not water a plant.

Day 5 Thursday 08/27/09

We have lift off

So today after 5 days of no light, 1 watering and no food. I actually remember to bring Gary in to work and honestly only because I had to run to the nearest bathroom as I was exiting the apt. I said well I watered it and it doesn't look dead yet so maybe I can give it another crack. If Gary could talk I imagine he's relieved to leave the bathroom as out of all the places one could spend 5 days in... the bathroom is not ones choice however in reading Mathew 5 it pretty much sums up that the plant doesn't care where its at or what its doing it just simply is. So that kinda made me feel better that it isn't judging me and telling me how much I suck at taking care of him. Its not his fault I'm busy and quite frankly its not his fault I said yes to receiving him. So after finishing my business, I pick Gary up and put him on the counter next to the door, go to the fridge and grab my Fuze drink and I mean it wasn't even 10 seconds and the once slumbering psychopath cat known as Aldo is up and going to town on Gary! Oh boy! So I whack the cat with a full bottle of Fuze and IT DOESN'T PHASE HIM. Ladies and gentleman.. I love my cat. I'm not abusive to my animal but sometimes a good thud to the butt is what a cat needs to get the point. In this case it was more like the Terminator taking a bullet... he's just mowing down on this plant and even in pulling him off HE'S TRYING TO EAT IT! Sheesh.... so I start to think more sensibly and ask myself "Why does this cat want to eat this plant so badly" and at that moment I realize I have just received my first God moment with my plant. I realize that the cat will never let this go and its likely my cat which is also my responsibility probably needs to eat some greens to help his digestion. I look at the plant, and none the less cut a piece of Gary off very gently. God reveals to me at that point that He too allows parts of our life to be cut off and sometimes its to benefit others. We as Humans fear the pain and suffering of the removal and sometimes are quick to judge God's reasons. The reason was clear for me to cut a small piece for my cat, as I figured hey Aldo needs this and low and behold when I came home today a pile of digested Gary was left for me on display on the bathroom tile as if it was almost a twisted level of homage paid by my cat. I thanked God for the experience today, and also threw in there the appreciation of my cat choosing tile vs the carpet.