So I'm going to write this blog today to encompass the past 2 days. I think I like writing every other day because well its easier but more importantly it allows me to compare and contrast and then conclude.
So Tuesday was interesting. Second day of suckin dirt. Still tastes bland, but doesn't hurt as much today however I have been in some new found amazing back pain. I've never felt pain like this and its funny how God has found it appropriate to allow the worst and most persistant pain I've felt in years go hand in hand with relearning to eat. I mean seriously cut a fat kid a break here! Again more sob stories only worth value in the world of Paul. I'm not sure why I'm going through this, its causing me lack of sleep, I'm torturing my wife and its costing me at work my ability to think and sell. However not all has been lost, the Lord is my shepherd and I shall not want. I've got a great group of supporters and they've been working me through all of this. Monday was more of a physical pain day then a hungry day, even my hunger for the word really wasn't all there. I went to the prayer room finding myself most distracted, I don't think I do well when there's the live feed playing because I focus on the performance vs whats being sang aloud. I've also noticed I've been much more quiet lately, yet more alert. Gary had a good trip today to work, people are starting to really ask questions and am trying to explain it the best I can to the skeptics and non believers whom already think I'm nuts. I take him home, put him in the bathroom as usual but forget to shut the door.... Gary received a free haircut (and we all know what free haircuts look like) courtesy of my sadistic cat Aldo. Sorry Gary
Now for Wed, 09/02/09
Today has been overwhelmingly confusing but God is good. After a complete night of restless sleep due to throbbing back pain, hallucinations due to an aggressive heat pad + muscle relaxers... I forgot Gary at home and was bummed because its been kind of my cheer leader and dirt eating professional go to guy. Today I'm not so much as concerned about food as much as I am why I'm learning to eat from the dirt. God taught me a ton of lessons today and started to show me the value of such a plight. First off, don't forget your biggest fan at home. Christ is our biggest fan, He's constantly wearing the Team Paul shirt and is always looking out for me and providing a good example. Gary in all of this is similar in that Gary will not and cannot force itself upon me. Christ will not and cannot force Himself upon me because of the rules He's setup for himself as he desires true relationship not forced worship. He will encourage you, send signals to you and even slightly guide you but will never force you to do anything even if he knows its for the better.
Enter the confusing part
God speaks to me at 3ish today and tells me "I've released you from learning to eat dirt" and I got double excited when my friend JD explains to me that a fast typically ends at sundown the final day. So the romance begins... I can smell the cheese, the meat, the everything pizza or the unlimited taco etc... I am at the finish line all is well just a few more hrs and I'll destroy the nearest sub shop etc. But how many of you know God's got jokes? He's full of them., and not malicious ones but ones that bear a lesson inside and later you find funny and rewarding. So I find out that other people including pastor Ed, and the interns etc have all fasted with me to encourage and do life with me.... however due to ahem... a miscommunication I started Monday and everyone else started Tues with a 3 day finish line. So I'm like who cares right I'll finish today, stuff my face and everyone will wrap up Thursday... God has released me I'm golden. However after a long discussion with my pastor and my close friend JD that I would be letting my friends down in retrospect if I didn't complete day 4. I hated hearing that, and I really had every intention of quitting tonight since hey... I did my 3 days. However a few things came to mind. A) The word God gave me (thanks for the reminder JD) that I was to go back to the jungle, but if your in the jungle just because your ahead doesn't mean your out if you have friends still in. B)
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Daily is way better than weekly. I just don't have the ability to respond to a weeks blogs at any one time. There are many things I would like to respond to if they were done daily where I could handle them. How do I eat an elephant? One bite at a time. And I'm glad JD helped you see the light regarding the additional day of fasting.
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